Anyone who has been in multiple relationships may undoubtedly learn from the first one. The initial relationship taught you a great lesson about yourself, respect, and relationships as a whole. There are things to know in a first relationship that will make all the ups and downs go a lot smoother, whether it’s filled with real love or instability.
I can’t guarantee that learning these things would make your first relationship better, endure longer, or last forever, but there are things I would tell my young people before entering into a first relationship. Whether you’re in your first or final relationship, it’s necessary to maintain your own identity, be calm, and be yourself.
# Things You Should Let Go Of in a First Relationship.
When it comes to first relationships, there is a lot of emotion involved. It’s your first time exchanging serious feelings with another person. You aren’t having a crush on someone, but you do have feelings for someone.
This is accompanied by a set of assumptions. When you first start dating, you might expect things to go a certain way.
Your relationship ideas could come from television, movies, novels, or even friends or parents. These things are all lovely to look at, but they aren’t genuine. Even real-life relationships that you’ve witnessed aren’t a good place to start because you and your spouse aren’t those individuals.
You should let go of any previous preconceptions about what a first relationship will be like. Let couple’s goals go. Do not structure your relationship after a celebrity couple or charming Instagram photographs.
You don’t have to spend your holidays together, hold hands all the time, or be together all the time. No matter how much it may feel like it, this relationship is not your entire life.
A first date is exactly that: a first date. You’ll probably have plenty more, and if this is your last relationship, acting as if it isn’t will be the best way to go about it.
# Key Principles and Things to Consider in a First Relationship
These are not only things I wish I had known before my first relationship, but also things that everybody in a first relationship should know. These things can help you adjust to being in a relationship and maintain your independence when you get connected with someone else.
1. It’s important to know what you desire.
Allowing this relationship to take precedence over your desires is not a good idea. If you want to go away to school, don’t let your spouse’s or the relationship’s desire to stay together affect your decision. It’s fine to let go of a spouse who doesn’t support your career or ambitions.
Your choices, not your relationship, are what define you.
2. Maintain your own sense of identity.
Outside of the relationship, be careful to find stability in yourself. Because you are both absorbed into each other, a first relationship can easily become emotionally dependent. Make sure you’re concentrating on what you’re passionate about.
Allow yourself to indulge in your favorite pastimes. Set aside some time for yourself. You are not defined by your spouse or your relationship.
3. Have faith in yourself.
Trust your instincts if something doesn’t feel right. Your activities are in your control. Don’t place all of your trust in a first date. You don’t have to expect it to end, but you should trust your gut. It’s ok if you’re growing out of it. It’s also ok if you want to take things a step further.
4. Friendships are equally vital.
Your relationship is important, but it isn’t the only one. You have friends, too, who deserve your time and respect. Make sure you don’t cancel plans with pals because of your relationship. I understand how difficult it is to be separated from them when feelings are so high, but your friends are important.
If you have a fight or a split, your friends will be there to support you. Don’t forget that they are a part of you as well.
5. You don’t belong to each other.
One of the most crucial things to remember in a first relationship is that just because you’re devoted to each other doesn’t imply you’re both yours. You are two people who like spending time together, yet you have different likes, dislikes, hobbies, and other interests.
You don’t have to adopt their hobbies, and they don’t have to adopt yours. You can’t control them either since you’re in a relationship. It is not your right to tell them who they can and cannot talk to. Being in a relationship does not imply jealousy or ownership.
6. Pay attention to what your parents, family, and friends have to say.
I understand that emotions are intense in a first relationship, but it is essential to listen to the people in your life. Try to set aside your personal beliefs and, at the very least, listen to your parents and friends.
Give them a chance, even if you think your parents are attempting to ruin your life or your friends are jealous because they don’t approve of the person you’re dating. These are the persons who have always been by your side and keep an eye on you.
So, as painful as it is to hear negative things about your relationship, this information could save you a lot of pain in the future.
7. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.
Allow yourself to be genuine. Being completely vulnerable will allow you to realize how you feel and what you want in order to get the most out of this relationship, whether it lasts or not.
Be yourself, not the person you think they want or the person you wish you were. When you change yourself for the sake of a first relationship, it sets a pattern for the rest of your life. You begin to put on a mask in order to avoid being wounded, yet masking your genuine sentiments does not prevent pain.
8. It makes no difference who is the first to say, “I love you.”‘
This is something I used to stress over, but it doesn’t really matter. There are several misconceptions concerning who says those three words first, but none of them matter.
You don’t have to be afraid to speak out. You don’t have to say it first for any reason, especially if you’re uncertain about your feelings. It’s also not necessary for your partner to respond right immediately.
9. Heartbreak isn’t something that lasts forever.
The fear of pain may be the reason you desire to stay in your first relationship. You can’t imagine what it’s like to go through a breakup if you’ve never been through one. A first relationship, on the other hand, frequently outgrows itself.
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It’s no one’s fault; people simply grow and evolve. Remember that when and if that moment comes, the agony of saying goodbye will not linger indefinitely. You’re going to move on.
10. Everyone has a past.
Even if this is your first relationship, it may not be the right match for you. And I’m guessing you’ve experienced feelings, if not a crush, for someone else before. It’s difficult to let go of these things. It is human nature to compare ourselves to others.
Accept the fact that your partner most certainly has a past that has nothing to do with you.
11. Know how to recognize emotional abuse and other forms of control.Keep an eye out for any warning signs.
At first, relationships can appear to be so sweet and beautiful, yet manipulation is all too common. Keep an eye out for a spouse who is attempting to control you, reject your feelings, or distort the truth.
These factors can lead to a difficult-to-extricate unhealthy relationship.
12. It is not necessary to engage in sexual activity.
Sex is not necessary in your first relationship. Because you’re in a relationship or in love, you don’t have to have sex. You and your partner can choose to do so if you want to, but you should both agree on it.
13. It’s not necessary to hurry.
Enjoy your first romance. You don’t have to rush to label it, meet each other’s families, or become overly serious about it. Take advantage of the opportunity to get to know one another. Dates are important. Avoid becoming too comfortable too soon, because the awkwardness and butterflies are the finest parts of a first relationship.
14. Keep your dealbreakers in tact.
Keep your dealbreakers in tact. You may believe that dealbreakers reflect your cautiousness, but if there are some things you know you can’t compromise on, adhere to them. You don’t have to compromise if you know you want to be with someone who shares your faith, political beliefs, or is a nonsmoker.
15 Strike a balance.
This is a recurring subject among things to know in a first relationship, and with good cause. A first relationship has the potential to consume your entire life. I’d cancel plans with friends, leave work early, and devote my entire attention to my first relationship. It was even worse when it ended because I didn’t have anything else going on in my life.
Make sure your relationship, friends, family, hobbies, school, and work are all in balance. These are the things that make up your daily routine. Your relationship should complement, not replace, your life.