Getting into a relationship is usually the easy part; keeping it going is a little more difficult. That’s why an increasing number of couples (married or not) are seeking couples counseling as a preventative measure against the inevitable bad times…and to learn how to keep the good times flowing.
It’s tough to give relationship advice. It can be irritating and even rude when it is received unwanted (hey, we all have that friend). However, finding what you’re really searching for—like a conclusive response about whether or not yours is safe and what’s really important—can be difficult.
Yeah, there’s the standard advice like “don’t go to bed upset” and “respect is important,” but we’ve all heard it before. That’s why we asked professional counselors for the best advice they offer their clients on a daily basis. We enlisted the help of the teammates to give you an upper hand in your love life.
Here are some Professionals’ Advice for a Successful Relationship
Never underestimate the importance of your spouse.
“This may seem self-evident, but you’d be surprised how many people seek relationship counselling after their spouse has decided to end the relationship.
It’s crucial to recognize that everybody has a breaking point, and if their needs aren’t met or they don’t feel seen by the other, they’ll most likely look for it elsewhere.
Many people believe that just because they are fine without the things they want, their spouse is as well. “The fact that ‘no relationship is flawless’ should not be used as an excuse for timidity.”
Look for someone who shares your beliefs.
“The more similarities (e.g., age, education, beliefs, temperament, passions) the better for long-term love. Before marrying, spouses should be certain that their ideals are compatible.
Other differences can be accommodated and accepted, but a disparity in values can be especially problematic if the target is long-term love.
Another key to a successful relationship is that both parties must be fully committed to making the relationship work no matter what. Only the spouses themselves have the power to end a relationship.”
Stop striving to be “everything” to each other.
“’You are my everything’ is a terrible song line and a worse relationship technique. There is no one who can be “everything” to anyone. Create new relationships outside of the Relationship, or the Relationship will cease to exist.”
Ensure you’re satisfying your spouse ‘s needs “
The most important thing about love is that it’s a transaction and a social interaction, not just a feeling”. Loving relationships are a way for us to fulfill our own needs while still meeting the needs of our spouses.
Positive times keep flowing when the interaction is mutually satisfying. When things get sour, the relationship suffers.
Take some time for yourselves.
“No matter how in love you are or how long you’ve been together, it’s important to take a breather from your relationship”.
Hang out with your girlfriend until late at night, go on a vacation trip to see relatives, or simply spend some time ‘performing.’ You’ll both be refreshed and ready to come together even better when you return home to Yours Genuinely.
Every day, do or say something to express your gratitude.
“Every day, saying and doing small, basic expressions of appreciation reaps big benefits. People are happier in relationships when they are regarded as unique and valued, and they are more likely to improve and strengthen those relationships.
When I say “easy,” I mean it. Hug, embrace, hold hands, buy a small gift, write a note, prepare a favorite snack, pay for gas , or tell your girlfriend, “You’re beautiful,” “You’re the best role model,” or “Thank you for being so good.”
Don’t be nervous about discussing the issue of money.
It’s all too easy to argue over money, but Cilona says that talking about money in the right way will actually strengthen your relationship. He continues, “A couple who communicates their financial ambitions and is able to work together to achieve them would certainly have a stronger relationship.”
So, if you know you like to do your analysis before making a major decision but your spouse is more impulsive, have the discussion before the car deal ends. Alternatively, if you’d rather spend your money on travel than a holiday home, be upfront about your priorities so you can find a middle ground.